Pregnant, and due, during COVID-19
This is a weird time for everyone: there is so much information out there, so much misinformation, and so much mass hysteria.
And here I am, about to turn 38 weeks pregnant: with the news that all of this is probably going to get worse before it gets better, right as I am about to have my baby.
I want to first say: I am completely unconcerned with my health, the health of my baby, or my husband. Being a health coach and pregnant: I have consistetly taken extra measures to boost my immune system because when you are pregnant you are considered “immunosuppressed.” And not in the classic sense, but being pregnant induces a state of increased susceptibility: whether it’s a cold or bacteria on bad sushi, my body is not going to fight it how it normally would: all of its resources go to protecting my baby (thank gosh!). I learned that the hard way early in my pregnancy when I very easily and quickly developed a cold that was more terrible than any cold I’d had before (also I hardly ever become sick), and we happened to be out of the country and traveling. It was an absolutely horrendous experience, and the effects of it almost sent me to the emergency room.
Once that happened I vowed to do everything I could to protect myself from catching anything: as I am also a yoga instructor, so I am around people constantly, touching things they touch and in a space where people come “to sweat it out.”
Which…don’t do that. Instructors have always felt this way, even before all of this: if you’re sick…sweat it out at home!
I take digestion plus everyday: which is a blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and digestive enzymes because 95% of our immune system is located in our GI Tract: so keeping your gut in balance is crucial for immunity. It’s also helpful when you’re pregnant because digestion gets all weird with a human growing in your uterus, moving organs around, and hormones affecting what is palatable to eat or not. I also started taking our Immunity Boosters every day since getting sick, my Innate prenatal vitamins, and Greens Balance: which in one scoop provides a full serving of a rainbow of fruits and vegetables. I also drink organic bone broth every single morning, and of course nutritionally do my best to eat well. I will admit: I have had more processed sugars in this pregnancy than in the last 3 years combined! But I do what I can every single day to keep my body healthy for me and baby.
Furthermore, I don’t even believe I could possibly carry anything: but I understand the concern and the desire to “flatten the curve.” Thankfully for me: I don’t leave the house much anymore anyway: I took my maternity leave 2 weeks ago, and run my other business from home. Which I could not be more grateful for than at a time like this.
However, even with all of that: I found myself not able to sleep last night. My mind kept spinning with anxiety caused by the mass hysteria, and the projected concerns I am having from the fall out of such with regards to my labor, and my postpartum.
I’ve mentioned in a blog before that I have no expectations for this pregnancy or birth. Well, turns out that wasn’t completely true. Turns out this last week the universe has showed me I, in fact, had a few: and is slapping me on the wrist for them.
I am putting this on the internet knowing many people, mainly women, have very strong opinions about birth, and so I will remind you to please respect mine as I respect yours:
I was VERY skeptical of birthing in the system. My husband and I went to a birthing center, and then to “cover my bases” we went in to meet the only female OB covered by our insurance. And I will admit: I walked into that building with a “PROVE IT” attitude. And…they did :) Her staff is absolutely incredible. Our first meeting was with her PA, and I just instantly fell in love. The support, the excitement…all of it! Not just that, but she said two things to me: she must have somehow known her audience. She called the OB an “over qualified midwife,” saying they want to just come into the room and check and not be involved in the birth (I think I heard angels singing when she said that), she then threw in the most magical of words: “Birthing tub.” She saw my eyes light up and explained that there is a tub in the hospital, and they all are trained and want to use it, but are not allowed. So my husband and I were proactive: we went and spoke with the CEO of the hospital’s secretary the day he was having a meeting with the man that owned the hospital. See the owner, for some reason, was under the impression there was no demand for birthing tubs. HI, I LIVE IN LOS ANGELES: THERE COULD NOT BE A CITY WITH MORE OF A DEMAND TO COMBINE A WATER BIRTH IN A HOSPITAL SETTING!
(To clarify, there are hospitals here that have tubs: but women are NOT allowed to birth in them. They are removed from the tub to birth…which can hault the process of the labor.) I wanted to have the freedom to choose, and not be in a hospital where they keep you on your back and where 99% of the people I know have ended up being told they have to have a cesarian. Again: skeptical sally over here. So when they told us that the owner gave them permission to propose a research project that would allow me to have the option to labor and deliver in a tub: I WAS IN HEAVEN! This entire time it has felt like I was getting my cake and eating it too: because I was getting my “hippy” birth method of naturally birthing in water, and I wouldn’t get the horrible push back and have awful things said to me by my mom and one of my friends by choosing to birth out of the system.
And then…just last week at my 37 week appointment my doctor informed me UNLV had yet to approve the project….she said “this could take an hour to do, it could take longer…” meaning it’s completely out of our hands when UNLV will decide to read her submission and approve it. When I got that news I was DEVASTATED. I cried hysterically when I got to the car and was depressed the entire day. The following morning I decided to still hold onto the hope that it may get approved before my son decides to join us. And then…all the schools (universities included) started shutting down.
So there’s expectation #1 shattered.
My second expectation is more of a piggy back onto the first: which is that hospitals are “safe.” Now, again, I said: I was NOT sure I wanted to birth in the system. Because being a person that has worked in the prenatal space, I have become all to aware how birth is a business and the medical system at large does not trust women, nor empower them to trust themselves, to do the ONE thing we literally are DESIGNED to do. AND YET, I did like the idea that I could say “if anything goes wrong…” and follow that up with the fact that my amazing OB is not just a woman that trusts women to birth, but is also the head of surgery, and our labor and delivery unit is connected with Children’s Hospital Los Angeles: THE hospital you want your newborn in if anything happens. Because while I 100% trust myself, my baby, and my body, while I do NOT fall in line as looking at birth as an emergency, emergencies during births do happen. However small. And it is SMALL.
So what expectation is at risk here? The safety of the hospital. NOT because of the tub, but because of this virus and the pressure it could put on our healthcare system and workers. While we have been told previously that labor and delivery “shouldn’t” be affected: that was before schools and stores were shutting down and we were being advised to stay home. So, if what I’m also being told (“it’s going to get worse before it gets better”) is true…is the hospital the place to go? Will we be exposed and then be carriers potentially putting both our mother’s at risk when they come meet their grandson? Will we be forced to stay at the hospital longer once we go in due to a quarantine….?
And so the wheels spin!
My final expectation had to do with pretty fluid postpartum plans. Ironically, I had decided to honor la cuarentena: which is when the new mom goes into a “quarantine” for about 40 days after giving birth. I was planning on staying home, resting in bed and on the couch. And not doing much other than bonding with my baby, and letting my baby heal from this absolutely amazing experience. My friend is a postpartum doula and I hired her for support if it was going to be needed. I had planned to make a few meals/soups and freeze them, but also we were gifted gift cards to places like Postmates, instacart, and uber eats. I also knew that the friends that visited would probably bring meals: because that’s what we do for one another. However… now, grocery stores are out of stock of almost everything, lines taking 30+ minutes, some people are having their delivery drivers from those companies pick up and then steal their food…I mean what the hell?! The last thing I want with this mania is for friends to make food for US when they need to be making sure they have enough for themselves and their family. People are losing their minds and buying tons of frozen meals, canned goods, pasta, and toilet paper. Which I know you know: because it doesn’t matter where in the US you are: this is happening to ALL OF US.
So the anxiety that I have been feeling isn’t about the actual illness: I am of course worried for my mom who refuses to NOT work, is in her 70s, has COPD, had lung cancer and currently has a cold…but also is an adult and strong AF and does whatever she wants regardless of my opinions (gee, wonder where I got that same trait from…)
The concern I feel is over the complete awareness that the world is rapidly changing right now in a way I have never experienced before, just as my son is preparing to bring himself into the world. Something else I have never experienced before.
And really only time will tell. I mean maybe it is going to get worse? Maybe it will last two weeks and settle down, and he’ll come “late” when it’s calm? Maybe he’ll be born in the height of it? Maybe this…maybe that… All I know is nothing is certain right now: which I was okay with when it was just about my pregnancy and labor. But to know that the uncertainty of what my labor will be and when it will be is now teamed up during a time of world wide uncertainty… this is a very unique and bizarre experience. I don’t quite have the words to express it really…which is why I wanted to write this blog.
I did leave my house today to get some recordings done so that people can do movement and meditation at home: in times like these self care is so important, and as a person that is lucky enough to be able to facilitate that for others I truly felt it was my responsibility to do so. On my way home I swung by a store “just to see,” and to hopefully grab a few things to help placate my concerns about having sustenance for the end of my pregnancy and my postpartum.
The organic produce department was NOT EMPTY AT ALL, which was shocking and disheartening. Y’all: GRAB VEGETABLES AND FRUITS FIRST! PLEASE! Make sure you are putting healthy, living, Whole Foods in your body at a time like this. I was able to not just get my hands on some gorgeous kale, but stocked up on bone broth, my husbands birthday cake ingredients (modified due to the shortages, but his birthday is Friday and I will not NOT make him his cake. It just will be a little less amazing this time without access to certain ingredients). I was also able to find 4 little “healthy” frozen food bowls so that I know they’re there after I have the baby. It allowed me to breathe a little more deeply, and reflect upon how lucky we are: we have a home and the ability to buy food…and once baby is here if there is food available: we will have access to it. And if it’s not: with my shake mix, and the things we have, we will be okay.
People are wiping out the shelves, my yoga studio is currently having a very open and heartfelt conversation about whether to keep our doors open or not, I have driven by massive groups of people that are waiting for hours outside of markets, many are in a position where their income is at risk, where our kids that rely on schools being open to eat are at risk of going hungry…it’s all extremely unsettling. I think especially as a younger healthy person in the United States: the virus itself feels SO far away from us, it feels like it can’t be that bad. But I guess it is…and so I’m just here at home, trying to finish my taxes, and trying to stay calm so that none of this uncertainty or anxiety I am feeling gets passed onto my son.
If you’re a mama to be out there: just know you aren’t alone.
And if you need help: if you need food delivered to your house PLEASE reach out. I have found that while everyone is, in fact, behaving insanely: so many are happy to help-They just need you to tell them you need them. If you are friends with somebody that is pregnant, or just had a baby: drop off some stuff for them. Often in the throws of new-parenthood we aren’t even able to communicate what we need. And if you’re due in the midst of this, like I am, just know whatever happens we are going to be okay. I am happy to connect with you, to share concerns so we don’t feel crazy, and provide support and encouragement. You can DM me or email me at any time!